When I tell people IRL that I am going back to the RE they keep giving me stupid encouraging statements. Such as “I’m glad you are not giving up – the whole Gavin thing is a fluke and you will be fine” – really? – how the F#*% do you know my next pregnancy (if I am lucky enough to have a next one) will be fine? Are you SURE that a placental abruption and/or an incompetent cervix will not happen again? They also tell me that at least I know what signs to look for next time and at least the doctors will be monitoring me closely. If I have signs of either again it’s going to suck and it might not matter how closely they monitor me. I could still have major problems.
I kind of wish people would just keep their mouths shut, back off a bit and let me be worried about what’s going to happen next. Nothing they say will ease my fears. I think they just say what they need to hear.
I am meeting with the Perinatologist in a week. I will have to tell my story yet again and hope they give me the green light to start back up with FETs. I am not sure if they will have any testing for me to do or want to check any hormone levels.
It's so frustrating when people really feel the need to say something... and then they open their mouths and say something really, really stupid. I can't imagine being in your position, but for me, the only appropriate thing to say is "This sucks". Commiserate with me that it's crap, and let's both move on.
ReplyDeleteHopefully the Perinatologist will give you the go-ahead to move forward!
You have every right to be worried about next time - no one can say with certainty that all will be fine. All we can do is pray for you and hope that those prayers are heard and answered. I hope your appointment with the Perinatologist goes well and you are given the green light to proceed.
ReplyDeletePeople can really make the most asinine statements, even when they mean well. Sorry you're having to deal with that. I hope the peri gives you the green light.
ReplyDeleteI know people are just trying to be helpful, but saying things like "I just know you are meant to be a mom" makes me want to punch them in the face. Morons and assholes, the whole lot of them.
ReplyDeleteOk, maybe that's too harsh - they don't know what to say and those are the words that come out of their mouth to express the temporary grief they feel on my behalf. But. Damn. Honestly, people. I have to live with the grief and I'm not in that wide-eyed optimistic stage anymore, so shut the f#*& up already!
It always amazes me the stuff that people will say and they THINK it's encouraging! Sorry you have to hear all of it.
ReplyDeleteWishing you the best with the peri. :)
((Hugs))
Good luck! I have you in my thoughts :)
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why everyone seems to have the perfect answer for everything. I know they're trying to be nice and encouraging, but nobody has a clue how this will turn out for you! Good luck with your next appointment - I hope it goes well!
ReplyDeletecrap!! I wish you could could just write it out...then when any doctor asks..give them a copy. They can read right!? This sucks..I am sure. It is scary I am sure..I have all intention not to say anything encouraging..but it is a force of habit. So I will just say..crap!!! Thinking of you:)
ReplyDeleteI hate it when people give me the everything will be fine this time line also. Well people we kind of thought everything would be fine last time and look what happened!
ReplyDeleteYa, I don't think they know what to say either. because if they have never been on the side of babyloss then they understand that pregnancy doesn't always equal live healthy baby and should just stop with the comments like that.
Anyway sorry for the rant but I am with you on that. Hope your appt goes well.
OMG, I got this all the time after I lost my baby last year- it took months for people to stop over simplifying the issues. I do hope for smooth sailing for you but know that there is a long road ahead- here to support you along the way and not just blow smoke up your ass and tell you everything will be ok.
ReplyDeletePeople are such morons! I get they feel like they have to say something, but how about "we'll be thinking of you" or "let me know if you need anything or want to talk" or even just "good luck"... *sigh*
ReplyDeleteThe part about people saying what THEY need to hear is so true.
ReplyDelete