Thursday, February 24, 2011


That is the sound of me exhaling.  I have been holding my breath for the week waiting for my first US.  Today we went in and saw one perfect little flickering heartbeat at a rate of 122!  The RE was having a hard time measuring the little bugger because it was huddled up to the edge.  He said everything looks perfect and the measurement he did get was right on track at 6w3d.  My RE said I can call my OB and start getting appointments scheduled over there but I told him I am not ready to leave.  He laughed at me then offered weekly US at the RE’s office until I am comfortable leaving.  Wondering if he will keep me until I deliver? 

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Another year older

I am turning 35 on Saturday and I am not quite sure what I think about that. I think since I got my BFP it is making this birthday a little easier to handle. I think being 35 and having a baby puts me in to the old lady high risk category. O’well – hopefully it means more scans and US along the way!

A little update on me…no more spotting since Sunday! I have been taking it pretty easy this week. I have to wait another week until my US. Holding my breath until then!

Monday, February 14, 2011

I started the weekend on a high from my beta results but that quickly came to an end on Sunday when I started spotting.  I took it easy yesterday (didn’t move my ass from the couch) and the spotting has stopped (I think).  I have a call into the RE but I doubt they will be able to tell me anything this early in the game.  So here I am, holding my breath until my US on the 24th

Friday, February 11, 2011

3rd Beta

Yep - the third beta says I'm still pregnant!  It went from 122 to 280 to 644!  I think I can take a deep breath and enjoy Valentines weekend!  I am making dinner for hubby to celebrate! 

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

With this BFP I should be feeling ecstatic / over the moon happy and all I can do is worry - Being an infertile has taken that away from me. After having two miscarriages and knowing all the things that can happen these first couple weeks, months and beyond has really put a damper on being blissfully ignorant and happy. It makes me really hate infertility. I should be enjoying every twinge and the lower back pain but all I can think of is that it might not last. I know I am very lucky to have this BFP and I am so grateful for it I am just really nervous.

At least I get a third beta tomorrow! That should maybe get me through the weekend!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Oh thank God it doubled!

The nurse just called with my second beta number….280! That’s more than doubling in 48 hours! I also talked her into a third beta on Friday!

This pregnancy is starting off better than my last! Let’s hope it stays that way! I am a nervous wreck and probably will be for the next 9 months.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Beta #1 at 9dp5dt

Is 122…I will be holding my breath until Wednesday praying it doubles.  I feel like this number is a bit low.  Can any of you share what your betas were for some reassurance? 

Here is what I did all weekend…

Yes – I know it’s a bit excessive…but I am infertile and it only makes sense to piss away about $70 in HPT for my sanity. This picture is actually missing a couple of the super early tests that I threw away because we had people coming over to the house and I didn’t want them to find them.

Today is my first beta so I am praying it’s a good number. I am obsessively checking the TP every time I pee! I am so happy yet so scared. I have been here before and it has ended so badly. I am having a hard time accepting this BFP with all my heart because I know it can be taken away from me at any moment.

I received a surprise gift package in the mail from Hannah at Life Happens this weekend! She sent me the best TWW gift of fun stuff! It made my day. As I read her card I burst into tears! This blog has led me to the most fabulous women and I am so thankful for each and every one of you! I couldn’t do this without your words of encouragement and support along the way!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


I gave up caffeine along with everything else that I enjoy to be as healthy as can be for IVF! It has not bothered me until yesterday. I am so f’n tired that I can barely keep my eyes open. I have to assume that it’s from all the progesterone. I am a walking zombie at work…so tired that I am a little worried that I am going to fall asleep in my next meeting. That is so not professional! I hope this is a sign for good things to come. I wouldn’t mind being so tired if it was because I was cooking a baby!!!

I hope all my blog friends in the Midwest are staying warm today! I can’t imagine such cold weather to deal with!!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Is 35 over the hill?

I really can’t believe that I am turning 35 this month. It seems so old to me. I keep thinking back to when I was a kid and I thought 30 was really old and now I am turning 35. The kicker is that I still think of myself as 25 and I think I still look like I’m in my 20s also. People are always amazed when I tell them my age. I think I would win a prize at the state fair with the old lady guessing ages – she would be way off.

I keep telling my hubby that I want to do something cool for my birthday. But the truth is all I want is a BFP. (If this IVF works) which I will know before my birthday than I don’t want to do anything fancy. If it doesn’t then I want the works to help me forget that I am 35 with no baby (oh and I will probably get really drunk!)

Getting old blows a big fat one…


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