Thursday, April 29, 2010

I Have a Plan

I just got my protocol for the FET from my nurse. Nothing too crazy…just some estrogen and progesterone along with Medrol and Valium! This transfer should be a breeze. I have more faith in the FET cycle than I probably should. I guess I feel that it’s less stressful and there is less going on with your body so maybe it will work! I know getting my hopes up is a dangerous thing but I am going to do it! I am not going to look at the bumpy road we took to get here just focus on what’s ahead. No use in worrying about the past. I am going to try to be stress free this month! Ya right…but a girl can dream. Now I just need to wait until the 11th for my monitoring appointment. They will do blood work and check my uterine lining and my ovaries.

I went to my acupuncture appointment today and it was relaxing as usual. My DR specializes in acupuncture for infertility. She works closely with my RE’s office. For an extra fee of $250 she will go with you to your transfer and do acupuncture for the ½ hour prior to your procedure and for the hour you are required to lay there after. I didn’t do it for my IVF last month. I figured I could just go the day before and after – that there was no need to spend the extra money. So, when I was scheduling my appointments for the month with her today she offered to open her office the day of my transfer (she is typically closed on Tuesdays) so I can go in and not have to pay the extra fee to have her head down to the RE’s office. What customer service!

On another note…I think a girl in my office may be pregnant. She is newly married and I have seen/heard her puking in the bathroom twice this week. You don’t need to be a detective to figure that one out. Just another daily reminder of what I can’t have.

I hope everyone has a great weekend! I plan on enjoying this beautiful Arizona weather. It will probably be the last nice weekend (in the 80’s) for a long time.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

How to Respond...

One of my employees just told me that he may need some time off from work because his teenage daughter is pregnant and she will be getting an abortion. I don’t really know how to respond to that. I am sad for the baby and want to blurt out that there are other options but being his boss I can’t say that. I would be sent straight to HR. No one at work has any idea about my situation but if they did I would like to think they wouldn’t tell me stuff like this. Now I cringe everything I have to talk to him.

On a lighter note…I took the afternoon of the 18th off from work for my FET. I also took the following day off. I know that I don’t need to be on bed rest for that long but this may be our last shot so what the hell…

It will be nice to lounge and watch movies all day with my puppies. They will surely be happy!

I am still waiting on the email from my nurse with my protocol. I know I have plenty of time but I am a planner and would really like to know what will be going on this month.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Another Wait

So, my nurse just called. She will be emailing my protocol for the FET cycle by Thursday and scheduled my FET for May 18th. That seems really far away - my CD 1 was yesterday. I was thinking the transfer would be around May 6th or so. I guess they know best and maybe I will understand it better once I see the email from the nurse.

I am just so sick of waiting. I feel like that is all I ever do. I would love to plan a fantastic trip somewhere like NYC or Hawaii but I don’t want to spend any money until we decide what our treatment path will be. If this FET works then we can go on a trip but if it doesn’t then we will need the money. I guess I will keep waiting…

My hubby owes me one so maybe he will plan a weekend getaway soon!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Another start

Hells ya! – My BFF just arrived! I always find it amusing when Aunt Flo shows up and I am happy. She usually brings such sadness with her. I just left a message at the Dr so hopefully I will get my FET protocol soon.

I had a good therapeutic weekend. Spent some quality time with my husband Saturday morning! Since we are rolling right into FET from IVF we have not had much of a chance for intimacy this past month. I hope he enjoyed it because Aunt Flo is now here and who knows what this months protocol will be.

I also read Knocked Up, Knocked Down. It’s an amazing book by a fellow blogger. If you have ever had a miscarriage you should take the time to read it. I had a good cry and decided that I need to not let all this get to me. I think going through IF has depressed me and it is starting to affect my relationships with my family, friends and husband. I need to decide to let the past be and get back to my old self. Time to start the healing process!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

A Bit of History

Holy cow – I can’t believe that I actually clicked the “create Blog” button. I have been a luker on your blogs for well over a year now. I guess I decided it was time to start jotting down our journey.

Here is a little bit of history…I married the love of my life in November 2005. After a wonderful first year of marriage we threw out the BCP and blissfully started TTC. Little did we know what a journey we were starting. Through all the ups and downs my love for my husband has grown. He is such a strong man and my best supporter! I think he will even share this blog with me! He is the funny one so his posts should be entertaining!

My DH and I have been TTC for three + years now. We are both 34. The first year was spent not really tracking anything – we were just seeing what happens and having fun doing it. Well, nothing happened! We have been tested and my DH has low morphology. I tested fine. We have been through 2 IUI’s and 8 FSP’s. A FSP is just like an IUI except they shoot the swimmers closer to the eggs by overflowing your tubes. The 7th time was a charm and it worked but I miscarried at 10 weeks in June 09 – we were devastated. My body took a couple months getting back to normal then we started again. We tried a couple more FSP’s and I got a BFP in December 09. At my six week US there was nothing there - another miscarriage. This one was a little easier to handle since it was at six weeks instead of ten. We had to wait for my body and hormones to level out then we started IVF #1 in April. I did the standard three weeks of BCP then on to the meds. I responded fairly well and ended up with 14 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, and four perfect day 5 embies. They transferred two AAA embies but I got a BFN. I am now waiting to get my period so I can start the FET cycle. They told me to stop the progesterone gel and lozenges but to keep taking the estrogen. But they said to stop taking the estrogen vaginal and start orally. That seems a bit weird to me but I have to assume the Dr knows what he is doing.

We have always joked that if these treatments don’t work then we will just be DINK’s…Dual Income, No Kids. It’s now a scary thought…what if these treatments don’t work. Then we might have to face that we might actually be DINKs. I am not sure how to comprehend that yet. I am going to focus on this month’s FET and not think of what might be if we get another BFN.

BTW – I am a huge fan of Acupuncture now – I have been seeing great results with the cycles when I added it! Hugs to everyone!


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