I don’t really have that much to say these days. I am just trying to figure out how to live my life and it’s a daily battle to not go into depression mode. I want to be ok and I understand that I can be happy even though I am still so sad. I have had a couple “weepy” days where I am on the verge of tears and cry over anything. My hubby went out on a boy’s night last week and he called to say hi and I was crying. He felt bad for leaving me - I had been fine all week but a FB pregnancy announcement triggered me. It was probably better that I was alone and he got to enjoy time out with his friends. I am usually pretty social but I find myself declining invites and even telling hubby to go without me lately. I struggle being around friends that I have not seen recently. I am only “ok” in my comfort zone group of friends/family right now (read…the ones that are not pregnant and I don’t expect a surprise pregnancy announcement from them any time soon)
On another note…Our next door neighbor is a retired cop. He lives there with his bed ridden wife. I believe she has rheumatoid arthritis and a list of other health problems. We are friendly with them and do neighborly things like pull up his garbage can from the curb and let each other know when we are going out of town. My hubby talked to him while I was in the hospital and told him what was going on. Our neighbor called and followed up to check on me about a month ago. Yesterday he came by with a gift for us. He and his wife had a star named after Gavin. I opened it and instantly started to cry. How sweet for them to think of us during all this and go out of their way to do this. Now I feel bad that we have never even invited him over for a beer. It’s the little things that mean so much!
i can't imagine how hard it must be to try to get on with life, but i am so impressed by your strength and perseverance. you are stronger than you think and you have so many happy moments ahead of you!
ReplyDeletethat was SO sweet of your neighbors! what a thoughtful thing to do.
big hugs!!!
They are so thoughtful to do something like that.
ReplyDeleteThere are several of us who think of you on a regular basis. I'm sure I'm not the only one who sends up a prayer and hope for you every now and again.
@CrysHouse
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your prayers! You are too sweet!
Oh hun (*HUGS*) I can only imagine the pain you're going through right now, but my heart goes out to you. I think about you so much.
ReplyDeleteYour neighbors gesture was so sweet.
I think trying to live your life and some semblance of okay is all you can do right now. I can't imagine trying to pick up and continue with life as you knew it after what you've gone through.
ReplyDeleteYour neighbors are so sweet. I teared up as well, thinking about your star named Gavin...
Glad to hear from you and it sounds like you are doing the best you can given the circumstances. I agree that the little things are what matter the most and the thoughtfulness of your neighbors is very sweet. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for stopping by my blog and commenting-I appreciate your well wishes so much. You are truly an amazing and kind person, and I hope for nothing but the best for you while you are going through this.
ReplyDeleteThat's such a cool idea for a Star-what a thoughtful gesture from your neighbors.
I totally understand not wanting to go out and hang out with friends. I have found myself staying home a lot more since we lost Emily. What a sweet gesture from your neighbor and his wife. A group of my friends had a star named after Emily a few weeks after her death, I started crying when they gave it to me.
ReplyDeleteThat made me tear up too! How sweet.
ReplyDeleteMy DH has called from a guys night to find me bawling uncontrollably. More than once. I hope your day by day life gets easier.
You are constantly in my prayers and I truly admire your strength. Your neighbors sound like amazing people. What a super sweet gesture!! I wish I could send you a big virtual hug.
ReplyDeleteok that was one big hug! :)
Ugh my hug didn't show up...
ReplyDeleteI had put
:: squuuuuuueeze::
:/
What an incredibly thoughtful and kind gift from your neighbor. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and cope with losing Gavin. Take it day by day and let yourself feel and process whatever emotions you need to when you need to. I can relate to avoiding others and being less social than I typically am. Sometimes it is just easier to stay within a comfort zone. Think of you often and sending big hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could come and give you a big hug! You are doing the best that you can day by day. There will be good days and not so good days, but know that there are lots of us praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI remember how hard it was to be around people knowing that I could have a melt down at any moment. But I kept praying EVERY day for strength to get through the next day.
I think of you often and continue to keep you in my prayers. Now when I look up at the stars, I will always think of your Gavin!
I've not lost a little one, so I don't know that type of pain, but I do understand grief (as I've just recently lost my mom) and I know how bad it sucks! Some days it IS really hard and everything makes you teary-eyed and weepy and others days (the good days) you can get by and almost be normal.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you've got awesome neighbors!
sounds like you are doing the best that you can. You just have to take it as it comes at this point. One foot in front of the other - some days are certainly just harder then others.
ReplyDeleteBTW, your neighbors sounds amazing. such a thoughtful gift
Don't worry about being less social. It's still very recent and it's only natural that you feel that way.
ReplyDeleteWe all think of you. Big hugs.
What an amazing thing your neighbors did. They sound like such caring people.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone else -- be social when you're ready.
That is really, really thoughtful. Wow. Gave me goose bumps. Take care - thinking of ya! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWow! That is really thoughtful and caring of them. Take your time to heal. We're here for you and sending you all our suppport.
ReplyDeleteHe named a star after, him that is so sweet. What an incredibly sweet neighbor you guys have.
ReplyDeleteI hate reading prego and birth announcements on Facebook, they are the worst. Take care
I think of you often as your strength gives me hope. #sendingabighug
ReplyDeleteThat's an awesome gift...very thoughtful...sorry you have been having a lot of bad days. Been praying for you!
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI used to read your blog all the time...we got pregnant about the same time...and then I miscarried at 11 weeks and had to stop as, even though I was happy for you, it was just too painful watching someone go on with a healthy pregnancy and know that I would be reaching all the milestones at the same time as you if things hadn't gone the way they'd gone for me. This is the first time I've stopped by in a long while, and I am so, so INCREDIBLY sorry to hear about your loss. Your son is beautiful and I can only imagine how incredibly difficult losing him must be. My heart just breaks for you. Lots and lots of hugs and love to you, and wishing you peace as you go through this very difficult time.
im often very angry at facbook, but i still go out there to look. its a pretty evil thing that we do to ourselves. i can only imagine how you are dealing with this, but everything you are going through sounds completely normal. and how sweet of your neighbor. wow. it is the little things that mean so much. thinking of you (Tippy)
ReplyDelete