Thursday, June 2, 2011

Back to work

I’m back to work and it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I put myself into a bit of a panic on Monday because I was so worried what people would say to me. Most everyone handled things appropriately. I got lots of hugs and pity looks (You know the look people give when they cock their head to the side, raise one eyebrow, give you puppy dog eyes and say you poor thing). It’s just the worst and it makes me cry every time. I hate the pity look. There was the one guy (there always is) who was in my office first thing and he said he was sorry for our loss which was fine but then he proceeded to ask when we were going to start trying again. Ok first of all, this is the creepy older guy in the office and second of all, why does he want to know about my personal life. Like I want him picturing us doing the deed to get pregnant. No one at work has any idea that we are IF but I don’t want him even thinking that kind of stuff about me. Yuck. (Insert body shudder here)



I do feel a little bit guilty because at work I am so busy that I don’t really have time to be sad. I haven’t had a good cry in two days. I get teary eyed talking to people but I am able to keep it together.

21 comments:

  1. finally, i've been trying to comment on your blog for a while now, so had to try the test above first bc i can't get to your email for some reason. babe - i can't believe what you've had to go through the last few weeks. my heart completely broke for you when i read what happened and i'm soooo sorry. i'm soo glad that dh has been a rockstar and that you guys are taking care of eachother. i dunno how to make sense of any of this kind of craziness, but i hope (and it sounds like) you are putting one foot in front of the other, albeit without any choice, and healing. and i'm esp glad that even if for a little bit, that you got to meet your gavin. sending you big big hugs (and a big punch in the face to the coworker who asked you if you were gonna try again soon). once you're ready again, we'll all be rooting for you big time, as always. xoxoxoxo.

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  2. People always have good intentions (most of the time) but they don't always display it very well. It's good to keep busy so don't feel guilty at all! You are still healing so let it out whenever you feel like it. We are all here for you. ((Hugs))

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  3. I'm so sorry for all that you have been through. People say the strangest things. I swear most people don't think before they speak. Some of my coworkers know about our struggle with IF and our losses so there have been some strange conversations to say the least. Sending positive thoughts your way!

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  4. I'm glad work wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. You are still in my thoughts.

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  5. I'm glad you're back to work. I know this has to be so hard to get up and go, especially when you have that creepster there asking you about getting pregnant - ewww. But I think it's good to try to have some sort of normalcy, even if every day is hard. Sending you hugs...

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  6. Don't feel guilty. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You will experience waves of different emotions at different times. It's all part of the grief process and you are doing so well. As for the people who make stupid comments - it sucks, but sometimes I think they try and mean well... even the ones who come off like complete jackasses. :) Sending lots of love your way.

    xoxo

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  7. I've been trying to comment before now. I'm glad it was ok, and you're handling being back at work ok. If you feel up to it, tell creepy man to get his beak out or, if you don't, get one of your colleagues to say something, assuming he does it again. Life's too short.

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  8. It's great that you're back to work and it's going well. I'm going to say a big "EWWWWW" to the creeper! Ugh. Anyway, I hope things continue to go well.

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  9. Grief comes in like the tides, don't feel guilty at all. Deal with it when it comes, but don't feel bad for not thinking about it constantly (*hugs*) I'm glad your return to work was mostly okay, and I'd like to slug that creepy old guy for you. Ugh.

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  10. I've been thinking of you. I'm relieved that it went better than expected. I know we don't know each other that well, but I wish I could give you the biggest hug ever. XOXO!

    http://www.painpromiseunfulfilleddreams.blogspot.com/

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  11. I'm glad work hasn't been as bad as you expected, I had the same experience when I returned to work. Thinking of you and hoping everything at work continues smoothly ((hugs))

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  12. I am glad that work is not as bas as expected. I hate to say this but expect tons of stupid comments from all kinds of places. I know they are mostly all well intended but this still not make it easier to hear.
    You should be very proud of yourself for navigating through work so well. Continuing to think of you and send lots of love your way...

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  13. Just found your blog and while I wish I could say something profound to ease your pain...I know that's not possible. I have one thing to offer...about how to comment. Blogger knows it is an issue but for now if you want a workaround - sign in to blogger and UNCLICK the box that says "stay signed in" and you should then be able to comment. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  14. Gosh...it must be a little of a blessing to be so busy at work...but do you feel like you need to cry? Have you been going to therapy...or are you able to talk with your hubby about what you went through. From past posts..your husband sounds pretty patient and loving..:) I wonder how he is doing too?
    glad work was not too uncomfortable except for the one creepy guy..I have that one creepy guy at work too! lol I was actually talking to my husband about it earlier tonight!

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  15. Well I am glad you only ahd one weirdo to deal with. Yuck, your description gave me a body shudder just thinking about it!
    I hope that the days get more manageable as you go.
    Thinking of you.

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  16. Sometimes getting back to work can be very helpful. It's good to have something else to think about other than just staring at the walls. ((hugs))

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  17. I think sometime being busy is a blessing. It allows us to get through each day. You will probably have days of extreme grief and days when you are surprised when realize you made it though the day without crying once. It does get easier to get though each day.
    And as for those people, I think most of them mean well, but it always seems like they say the wrong thing, and I know those pity looks are the worst.

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  18. Busy is a good thing sometimes. Not to minimize the healing you need, but it is nice to have a break and/or distraction for awhile. And ewwwww about the older guy co-worker. yuck. just yuck.

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  19. I know it's sad that this is the first I am reading about what happened. I don't to blast you with all the common responses, but I am very sorry. No one deserves this and it's the hardest thing to deal with ever. Maybe my Harry and your Gavin have met and are happy with their friendship! I try to think more like that now. You have my light and love coming your way.

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  20. I've been thinking of you and hoping that you continue to heal. I am glad that work has kept you busy. I am sure that some semblance of "normalcy" is helpful. Hugs.

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